First Five Miler Did Not Rock

Thanks for the nice things about my loss today!  I'm feeling great about my self control and determination.  Hopefully I don't lose that though and spiral out of control.  One day at a time, right!?  LOL

5.03 miles, 1:09:31, 13:50 pace, 648 calories burned

So, I ran today.  I did two miles and should have circled back, but since this weekend is going to be busy, I decided to keep going and do my long run today (my first 5 miler) rather than my boring old 4 miler.  Yeah, I should have stuck to the schedule.  As soon as I took a few steps past two miles, my left calf cramped up and the arch of my foot started to hurt.  I powered through, though.  I probably shouldn't have, but I really felt that if I didn't do it today, I might not get it done at all this weekend, what with our big Memorial weekend plans (going to the lake and drinking some beer).  My pace was super slow, which was really disappointing because my first 2 miles I had a fantastic pace!  I was so proud of myself.  But I just didn't have it in me the whole 5 miles.  :/  I am obsessed with getting faster and it just isn't happening.  I suppose I could really blame it on the leg cramp this time (which, by the way, still hurts and I'm just laying on the couch) but I'm really about tired of having excuses.

Regardless of my pace, though and how tough the longer mileage is, I'm super proud of myself for sticking with it, even though it's hard.  I have an addictive personality, so once I find something I like, I tend to become obsessed with it.  That...or I give up when it gets too hard.  And I've thought about quitting a few times, but I just keep pushing myself because I set a goal to run a 5k and I will at least see that through, even if I do end up quitting altogether afterwards.

And don't get me wrong...I'm pretty proud of my accomplishment with weight loss too, and I know that there are people out there that are struggling (which I totally sympathize about) but when I look at my reflection or I put on my jeans, all I see are my big hips and chunky thighs.  These things may never change thanks to genetics and childbirth, but someday, I'd like to see myself in a single digit pants size.

I'm trying not to stress about this or even dwell on it too much, but I have an image distortion problem, which is strange because I didn't have this problem when I was much heavier.  When I was heavier, I didn't think that I was really as heavy as my reflection and pictures showed.  But now that I'm smaller, I see myself as larger than I really am.  It's a curse.  :/

Now, I can't end my blog on a pity party, so I'm going to show you a super cute picture of my baby boy.  He's very, very close to trying to walk.  He has spent the last two days letting go of stuff and standing by himself for a few seconds before his butt hit the floor.  This picture doesn't show his new found talent, however it makes me laugh when I see it:

so innocent...or is he??

he knows he's handsome; such a flirt

Yeah, I have other kids, but they despise the camera because they grew up with it in their faces.  Benjamin will come to hate it too, I'm sure.  :)