I finally got out there and ran again today. It wasn't pretty. In fact, it was probably my worst 3 miles EVER. But, the weather wasn't exactly on my side - it was 86 degrees. Plus, I really hate to admit this, but I only had 421 calories all day today. I know, I know. I didn't even think about it until I already left to run. :/
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| 3 miles, time: 42:37, 14:12 pace, 369 calories burned |
I ran the first mile and a half or so but then ended up alternating walking and running. The heat and lack of energy just about killed me.
I'm really not even following my training schedule at all. I've skipped so many runs that I'll never catch up. I'm just kind of wingining it now. My first 5k is officially less than 3 weeks. It's 3 weeks from yesterday, in fact. My plan from this point forward is to run 3, 4 and 5 miles every other day and then on my off days I want to get at least a mile in and work on my speed with that run. I'm trying not to worry to much about my pace. I know, I've said that before, but at this point, finishing is my top priority, running the entire 3.1 without walking is my second priority.
I guess we'll see what happens.
I really wanted to cry during this run. I wondered why I kept doing this to myself. And now that it's over - I have my answer. I feel amazing. I pushed through. Yes, it was hard and yes, I wanted to give up. It was hot. I was unable to run it straight through and honestly, I haven't run an entire distance in a long time. But now that I can breathe and I'm not sweating in places that sweat should never be - I feel powerful. I am proud of myself and what my body can do because if you could have asked me at any other point in my life besides the last 6 months if I ever thought I'd be a runner, I'd have laughed in your face. But I'm not the same person I was...well, ever.
THAT is why I keep doing this to myself.
Okay, call me crazy, but you clearly are not having a good time doing this. Why don't you take a bit of a break? Find something new (exercise wise) that inspires the heck out of you and throw yourself into it. Maybe it's a 30-day workout DVD. Take before and after pictures and be proud of what you achieve. Life is to short to torture yourself for no reason, and maybe when the weather chills out you will want to get back into running? If not, who cares... move on and explore the fitness horizons. They are so big!
ReplyDeleteI've just been having a rough time with the heat, mostly. I don't love running, but I like it. Plus, I've just been lazy. Sleep sounds so much better than getting up at 5:30 to do anything. :) I'll get through it. I wish I could find my 30 Day Shred video though, I'd totally do that this summer. It nearly killed me a few years ago when I attempted it. :)
DeleteMy first 5k is this sunday and I have yet to run 5k! That makes me nervous, but I'm looking forward to trying it. I always feel great after running too. I wish I could remember that how great that feeling is when your trying to convince yourself not to run.
ReplyDeleteI try to remind myself of how great I feel after a run, but it doesn't usually work. LOL
DeleteYou're going to do great this Sunday! I look forward to reading about how it went! :)
Don't beat yourself up! You're only human and some days are good and some days aren't so good. You've had an amazing journey and you're an inspiration to me :)
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