Seriously? My Body is a Tease...

Weight this morning: 170.4 (down .2 from yesterday)

Are you freaking kidding me?  I totally expected to be at my goal today.  I mean, it was only .6 pounds!!  But noooo, instead I only lose .2 pounds, leaving .4 pounds left to lose before goal.  DAMMIT.

I sucked it up in the work out department today.  I really should have taken a break today, but I had to wait in town for my son to get out of school, so I persevered and let the treadmill show me who's boss.  It sucked.  I don't know what's going on but I just can't push out even a mile anymore.  :/  I think I'm going to take a rest day tomorrow.  Or, if anything, just do the elliptical for awhile and skip the running for a day.  I've already planned to take Friday off from all exercise so I can spend the day with the kids since they don't have school.  I'm really looking forward to that break.  My whole body is killing me sore.

I ate more calories than I'd have liked today, but I knew I was going to attempt to run again, so I needed fuel.  Turns out, it was a wasted effort because I barely made it a quarter mile before I lost steam.  I just don't get it.  :(

I'm not even going to venture a guess for the scale tomorrow.  I don't even want to get my hopes up.  I was really, really disappointed this morning.

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Food Log:

• breakfast - protein shake (190kcal)
• lunch - roast beef
• dinner - bean burrito with cheese and sour cream
• snack - meat and cheese roll ups (110kcal)
• energy - 5hr energy (4kcal)
• water - 33.8 ounces

Work Out Log:

• treadmill (walk/run) - 20 minutes, 163 calories burned
• elliptical - 30 minutes - 192 calories burned

Total time - 50 minutes
Total calories burned - 355

Getting So Close, I Can Feel It...

Weight this morning: 170.6 (down 1.6 from yesterday)

You see that!?  .6 pounds away from an official 100 pound loss!  I can't believe it.  I almost cried because I was soooo close.

I did my first 5k on the treadmill today.  Needless to say, my time was awful pathetic.  I have to be honest, I'm super disappointed in myself.  That averages a 16 minute mile.  There are people that WALK faster than that.  :(  I had to walk a lot of it.  I can't even do a straight mile anymore.  I managed .75 mile before I had to walk.  I'm assuming it's due to my poor diet.  Low calories means zero fuel for my body.

I'm trying not to beat myself up about my time and how much I walked instead of ran, but if I'm going to really do a race, I have to shave at least 20 minutes off my time.  I will be happy when I finish, but I don't want to finish last.  :/  I have 4 months of training left.  I'm thinking that maybe I should start back up on Couch to 5k.  I got too cocky and thought I could train without it.  That may have been a mistake.

I've stopped taking the hCG drops, as well.  I needed them to jump start my weight loss again, which, along with the exercise, has finally started happening.  I've also not binged for a week (yay!) but without much of a calorie intake, my energy has plummeted and I feel sickly.  I hate that feeling.  I don't know for sure if the drops are what's keeping my hunger at bay or what, but I think it's just time to stop.  I still have 33 days worth of drops, so I should be able to take them again should I need them, but I'm seriously hoping I won't.

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Food Log:

• lunch - pita pizza with pineapple (299kcal)
• dinner - pita pizza with pineapple (didn't weigh anything, just threw it together)
• snack - special k almond and silk
• energy - sugarfree Red Bull (20kcal), 5hr energy (4kcal)
• water - 33.8 ounces

Work Out Log:

• treadmill (walk/run) - 50 minutes, 402 calories burned
• recumbent bike - 10 minutes, 34 calories burned

Total time - 1:00
Total calories burned - 436

Special K Blueberries and Silk...

My newest obsession.  I am a freak about breakfast food.  I don't usually eat breakfast, but I'll eat breakfast food anytime of the day.  My favorites are toaster waffles, cereal, eggs, english muffins and hashbrowns.  I've been on a cereal kick lately.  I love the Special K cereals (with the exception of the Chocolatey one...ick).  And Silk...I love this stuff.  The first time I bought Silk, it was the sweetened almond, which was awesome.  But also 90 calories (I think...somewhere around 90ish, anyway).  So I decided to try the unsweetened kind (at only 45 calories per cup) and it's not great by itself but it tastes awesome in cereal.  It's perfect with the Special K cereals.

Anyway, I've been sitting here for awhile, thinking about cereal and I finally gave in.  It only put me at just over 800 calories for the day, so it's really probably not a big deal, but I know if I don't have a good (good enough for me, that is) weigh in tomorrow, I'm going to blame the cereal.

Oh, but it was soooo good.

(Edited to add: Dammit all to hell.  I just remembered the caramel frappuccino I had this morning.  It wasn't too terribly many calories, but I bet it puts me closer to 1000.  DAMN.)

PB2 and PB2 Chocolate

I bought some PB2 and PB2 Chocolate online yesterday.  It's powdered peanut butter.  Essentially, the oil and fat have been removed and you can rehydrate it by using water or another liquid to make it spreadable on stuff, or you can add the powder to mixtures to make it taste like peanut butter.  I'm looking forward to trying it in my smoothies and oatmeal.  I've been craving peanut butter for awhile, which is unlike me.  I don't like the texture of peanut butter, but I like a hint of the taste.  I especially like it with chocolate, which is why I also bought the PB2 Chocolate.  :)  I've been eating the Dark Chocolate and Peanut Butter Granola Thins, but it's just not taking care of the craving.  Hopefully, the PB2 will help.  With only 45 calories for two tablespoons (most peanut butter is 200ish calories for two tablespoons), it's worth a try, right?  :)

3.4 Pound Loss? Yes, Please

Weight this morning: 172.2 (down 3.4 from yesterday)

I was soooo stoked when I weighed myself this morning!  3.4 pounds lost!  Yay!

I busted my ass yesterday at the gym and kept my calorie intake decently low and it really showed!  :)  I can't get over it.  I did an hour at the gym today, but took it kind of easy.  I didn't run at all, mostly because it's that time of the month and I really just didn't think it would go well.  The calories burned that I'm posting are what the machines say.  Once I start using my heart rate monitor again, I'll post those numbers instead.

I had an awesome pita pizza for dinner tonight.  I took a pita pocket, put sauce, cheese and pineapple on top and baked it in the oven until the cheese melted.  It was amazing.  So good, that I'd love to have another one, but at 299 calories, a second one just isn't in the budget.  :)

I can't wait until weigh in again tomorrow.  I'm getting close to a pivotal goal (100 pounds lost total) and I may just cry when I see 170 (or less).  It might be an emotional time for me, especially since I've been trying so hard to reach that goal for over a year now.  :/  I hope it happens tomorrow, but as long as there is some sort of loss, that's really all that matters.  :)

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Food Log:

• lunch - double egg omelet (254kcal)
• dinner - pita pizza with pineapple (299kcal)
• snack - special k blueberries with silk (247kcal)
• energy - sugarfree Red Bull (20kcal), 5hr energy (4kcal)
• water - 33.8 ounces

Total calories - 824

Work Out Log:

• elliptical - 30 minutes, 268 calories burned
• recumbent bike - 10 minutes, 34 calories burned
• treadmill (walk) - 20 minutes, 93 calories burned

Total time - 1:00
Total calories burned - 395

Discrepency in Work Out Machines

Weight this morning: 175.6 (down .2 from yesterday)

Well, weighing myself this morning was pretty disappointing.  I did get a mile run in last night after Ben went to sleep and I successfully fought off the urge to binge on some Special K Blueberries and silk and still I only lost .2 pounds.  Weigh ins like that really make me wonder why I bother.  :/

Today has not been a great day.  I'm still taking the hCG drops but I haven't followed the protocol at all like you're supposed to.  I really wanted waffles this morning, and at 190 calories for two, I couldn't pass it up.  Then we went to my in-laws because Kaiden wanted to and they ended up taking us to the little cafe for the lunch buffet.  It wasn't anything great and very easy to not pig out.  It's a small town cafe that caters to the older crowd, so most of the food is pretty simple and bland.  I had some mashed potatoes, a salad with some ranch dressing and a few bites of chicken.  (Side note: this must have been the FATTEST chicken ever; there was so much fat and skin on the piece I had, it was really hard to find anything edible on the bone.  Not to mention, I came across a few blood vessels or something, which took care of my appetite pretty quickly.)  I hate being so picky, so I tried to eat without any complaints, but I think my chicken even grossed out my father in law, so he didn't give me any crap about picking through it to find the edible parts.

My exercise log kind of pisses me off.  I did two 30 minute sessions on two different ellipticals because when I got to the gym, there was a girl on the elliptical I usually use.  So I decided to give the other one a try.  I've been trying to do my runs on the treadmill first because it's easier when I haven't done anything else yet, but there were two women on the treadmills and I'm kind of shy and didn't want to be next to them or behind them.  So I waited.  Anyway, the elliptical I've never used was kind of weird to begin with.  It didn't move like a regular elliptical.  It felt almost like I was doing stairs, but low impact.  :/  And what pissed me off about it was that my distance = my calories burned.  So according to that machine, I did 1.81 distance and burned 181 calories.  Usually my calories burned is twice that on the elliptical.  After 30 minutes on that, I did 10 minutes on the recumbent bike, which I'm slowly starting to like.  I really felt my leg muscles today.  I did the recumbent bike after the elliptical because those women were STILL on the treadmills.  After I did my 10 minutes, they finished, cooled down and left, so I did my 20 minutes on the treadmill.  It was awful.  I could seriously feel the fatigue in my body and running just wasn't happening.  I alternated running a tenth of a mile and walking a tenth of a mile.  It was useless.  I finished my work out on the elliptical I usually use, but my calories burned on it were low because of muscle fatigue.

According to the machines (including the stupid one that said my distance equaled my calories burned), I only burned 655 calories.  According to http://www.sparkpeople.com, I burned 973 calories.  I like that much better.  :)  But according to http://www.loseit.com, another site I use to track stuff, I burned 886.  That's still better than what the machines said.  *shrug*  I really need to use my heart rate monitor so I can have a more accurate estimate.  The only thing I don't like about it though, is that my calories burned is always waaaay lower that even what the machines say.  It's more accurate, but pretty depressing too, when you literally bust your ass on those machines.

I'm pretty stoked to weigh myself tomorrow.  Even with lunch being as crappy as it was, I sweated up a storm and still managed to eat decently, regardless of the lunch.

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Food Log:

• breakfast - 2 eggo blueberry waffles (190kcal)
• lunch - chicken, mashed potatoes, and salad with ranch
• dinner - special k blueberries with silk (247kcal)
• snack - egg white omelet (121kcal), protein shake (190kcal)
• energy - sugarfree Red Bull (20kcal), 5hr energy (4kcal)
• water - 33.8 ounces

Work Out Log:

• elliptical - 30 minutes, 181 calories burned
• recumbent bike - 10 minutes, 42 calories burned
• treadmill (run/walk) - 20 minutes, 148 calories burned
• elliptical - 30 minutes, 284 calories burned

Total time - 1:30
Total calories burned - 655

My Number is 142,100

So I was reading another weight loss blog from beginning to end when one of the posts from last year really made me stop and think.  I am not very good at math, but even I could follow what this girl was saying.  She said that she had so many pounds to lose and if a pound is 3,500 calories, then technically if she burns this amount of calories, she should be at goal.

With that in mind, my calculation goes something like this: 40.6 (pounds to lose) times 3,500 (calories in a pound) equals 142,100 (calories burned to be at goal).

DAMN.

Putting it in that perspective is a little daunting.  That's HUGE.  And yet...interesting.  As long as I create that caloric deficit, I will attain my goal.

I know it's not that easy, but I thought it was kind of interesting and just wanted to post it.  Besides, I wanted to post a something different besides my same ol' same ol' post about the Lent Challenge.  :)

And The Scale Keeps Going Down

Weight this morning: 175.8 (down 1.4 from yesterday)

I didn't drink as much water as I have been lately.  I had a hard enough time gagging the 33.8 ounces down that I did drink.  I'm just not a water person and today it was pretty obvious.  :/

I didn't work out today, either.  I might squeeze in a quick run as soon as Ben's asleep, but I had to work all day and the boys drove Preston nuts while I was gone, so I'm going to give him a much needed break from the kids.  If I don't get a run in tonight, I won't be too worried about it.  I have the next three days off and am going to get some gym time in every day.

I'm not so sure about this hCG diet.  Once again, it's the argument of whether or not I can do this on my own.  I've been so proud of myself for the weight I've lost ON MY OWN but since I've stalled out for so long, I guess I'm just to the point where I'm fed up and tired of failing.  I hate the fact that I'm relying on something else besides me own strength and motivation to get me through this.  However, with that said, I think a lot of the hCG diet mumbo jumbo is all in the users head.  Or the stuff I have isn't very potent because I still feel hungry a lot.  It's just out of pure will and determination that I haven't given in to all my cravings.  I am still quite a bit over the 500 calories you're allowed on the diet.

And with THAT said, I worked the dreaded 11-7 shift.  This shift is the one where I binge TERRIBLY all day long.  But today?  Didn't binge at all.  I took a container of 1% low fat cottage cheese to work with me and ate portions of it throughout the day.  I came to a point where I wanted something warm in my belly, so I made an egg white omelet with vegetables and it helped a lot.  I wasn't hungry most of the day, but a lot of random things sounded good.  I did want something sweet, so I had a couple dark chocolate and peanut butter granola thins (LOVE those things, I totally suggest trying them).

I'm kind of excited to weigh tomorrow.  I hope to see another pound lost.  :)

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Food Log:

• lunch - cottage cheese, lettuce and sunflower seeds
• dinner - egg white omelet
• snack - 2 granola thins (160kcal)
• water - 33.8 ounces

My Excuses to Try the hCG Diet...

Weight this morning: 177.2 (down .4 from yesterday)

I didn't work out today.  There was so much I needed to do when I got off work that I just ran out of time.  The boys got their hair cut and they look do handsome now, so it was worth missing the gym to see the fantastic transformation from shaggy mop-heads to clean cut boys.  :)

Kaiden

Brandon

Today was the first day of the 500 calorie portion of the hCG diet.  No lie...it was tough.  I think I went over about 300 calories, but I don't think that's too bad.  The one thing that bums me out is looking at the time and seeing that it's only 5:33 and I'm officially done eating for the day.  No snack or anything.  This diet is pretty restrictive.  I don't like that at all.  That's why I don't like "diets."  The point is to make a lifestyle change, something you can live with for the rest of your life.  I'm only trying the hCG diet because nothing else is working and I'm tired of plateau-ing and stalling out at 177.  I've been 177 for probably a year and a half or so, with the except of my pregnancy time.  I know I can do this, I just need a jump start and that's why I'm trying the hCG diet.

I hope to see the number go down tomorrow on the scale.  It should, but a part of me is afraid it won't.  :/

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Food Log:

• lunch - potato crusted cod and a salad
• dinner - herb crusted tilapia, cottage cheese and asparagus
• snack - special k blueberry cereal with silk
• water - 67.6

The Second Loading Day

Weight this morning: 177.6 (down .2 from yesterday)

My food log isn't as great as I would like, but today was the second "loading day" for the hCG diet so technically I was allowed to go wild with my food.  I still don't consider it a binge, even though I had quite a bit for breakfast and my snacks.  I'm also proud to say that I reached my goal of 750-1000 calories burned, though it was on the low side.  I wish it had been over 800 but my work out got cut a little short.  I'm cool with it, though.

acini di pepe, feta cheese, spinach and cherry tomatoes

Tomorrow starts the low calorie part of the hCG diet.  I hope I can handle it.

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Food Log:

• breakfast - cinnamon roll, breakfast bowl
• lunch - bleu cheese burger
• dinner - pasta with feta, spinach and cherry tomatoes
• snacks - fuze (15kcal), coffee with creamer (60kcal), energy shot (4kcal), milk duds (460kcal)
• water - 91.3 ounces

Work Out Log:

• elliptical - 30 minutes, 361 calories burned
• treadmill (run/walk) - 20 minutes, 203 calories burned
• recumbent bike - 10 minutes, 39 calories burned
• elliptical - 17 minutes, 171 calories burned

Total time - 1:17
Total calories burned - 774

Lent Challenge: Day 1...

Weight this morning: 177.8 (starting weight for Lent Challenge/hCG diet)

I will be weighing daily and posting my numbers daily.  Needless to say, I was NOT HAPPY with that number.  But, considering I've spent the last week or more binging, I'd say it was definitely to be expected.  Hopefully tomorrow will be a better number.

Today was a success!  I didn't binge at all!  Had I actually been counting calories, I probably went way over, but I'm not too worried about it.  Part of the hCG diet is that today and tomorrow I'm allowed to eat whatever I want.  Knowing that I had that freedom didn't cause me to binge, which I'd been sort of afraid of.

I am NOT a fan of the recumbent bike.  It's boring.  And today, I remembered the other reason I loathe it.  It does NOTHING for burning calories.  I've never read up on the recumbent bike, so I have no idea what it's point is, but I'm guessing it's main purpose is for strength training and toning the legs.  I felt it, but I didn't like watching the calories slowly creep up.  It wasn't technically a waste of time because it DID burn a few calories and my legs felt the purpose of the bike, but my time could have been spent better on the elliptical or the treadmill.  But, lesson learned.  I'm going to try to check out a few other machines at the gym tomorrow.  Maybe I can replace the recumbent bike with something different.

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Food Log:

• breakfast - breakfast burrito
• lunch - black and bleu burger
• dinner - corned beef and cabbage
• snacks - protein shake, pop tarts, cottage cheese
• water - 67.8 ounces

It's not the healthiest food log, but it consists of each meal, plus three snacks.  Not too bad, I'd say.

Work Out Log:

• elliptical - 30 minutes, 323 calories burned
• treadmill (run/walk) - 20 minutes, 160 calories burned
• recumbent bike - 10 minutes, 36 calories burned
• elliptical - 15 minutes, 154 calories burned

Total time - 1:15
Total calories burned - 673

Struggling. A Lot...

Ever since I got my gym membership, I haven't been running.  I love the elliptical much more than the treadmill and it burns way more calories in the same amount of time, so it's just natural for me to choose the elliptical.  However, it's also getting harder and harder to stay on the elliptical for a long period of time (out of boredom), so I'm trying to develop my own little program to include elliptical, treadmill and the recumbent bike (another machine I LOATHE).

I have not done well the last few weeks.  I am back to 176.  I've started binging again, as well.  :/  I don't know why I go through this vicious circle, but I'm noticing a pattern.

I was really hoping to be at 170 (at least) by March 9th.  That will be my 3 year anniversary for this journey and I'd really like to say I lost (and maintained) a 100 pound loss in 3 years.  But at this rate, it's not happening.  I'm still working towards it, though.  I haven't given up.

In other news...I'm not a fan of fad diets and pills because I feel that they are just a temporary answer to a lifelong issue.  I'm also not a fan of lapband surgery (or similar surgeries) either, but I'd never be able to afford it, so that's neither here nor there.  I'm proud of myself, knowing that even though I've struggled the last 3 years, at least I know I did it all by myself.  I made the commitment and had the determination to make a lifestyle change.  It hasn't been easy, by any means, and because I'm human and absolutely NOT perfect, I've struggled and fallen back to my old ways, but I am still accomplishing this on my own.  Now...with that being said, my husband and I bought hCG drops today.  I need a jump start.  As strongly as I feel about fad diets and pills and the like, I am a little disappointed in myself for trying this.  But something has to give.  I need to get control over my binging and I just need something to help suppress my appetite.  Sad, right?

Also, Lent is coming up.  I am not a practicing Catholic anymore, but I decided that I was going to try a Lent Challange by giving up binging for Lent.  I also want to work out every day for the next 40 days for at least an hour a day or burn at least 750-1000 calories a day.  We'll see how it goes.

Another Week, Another Recap...

It's been a week since my last post.  I just haven't been feeling the whole blog/internet thing this week.  I've still been keeping track of my food and fitness, though.  A quick recap:

Friday the 10th - weight: couldn't weigh, did not run this day
We came home from our two day vacation on this day.  I didn't eat too terribly, but I would definitely say I didn't make excellent choices, either.  It's pretty hard to eat well when you're spending a lot of time in a car.  By the time we made it home, I was too exhausted to run.

Saturday the 11th - weight: 172.6, ran 1.5 miles
I pushed myself to do a mile and a half.  By the last part of the run, I was ready to throw up.  I was proud of myself for pushing myself that hard, but felt awful afterwards.  I didn't eat too well this day, either.  But at least I got a run in.  :)

Sunday the 12th - weight: 176.2, ran 1 mile
I was not happy when I weighed myself.  I almost cried.  I knew the day before had been too good to be true.  I'm guessing that my body finally caught up with being on the go and bad eating.

Monday the 13th - weight: 176.6, ran/walk 2 miles
I bought some new running shoes and tried them out.  I ended up with my first running blister.  It wasn't too big and I was actually kind of proud of it.  LOL  Again, I made some awful food choices this day.  It's not getting easier.  I'm not fully binging yet, but I feel myself getting closer, the more I lose control.

Tuesday the 14th - weight: 175.6, ran 1.334 miles
My husband got me a gym membership for Valentine's Day.  I'm so excited!  I haven't been to the gym in so long and while I'm nervous, I'm totally looking forward to having more to choose from when it comes to working out.  :)

Wednesday the 15th - weight: 174.2, elliptical at the gym
Food choices were not the greatest again, but I did go to the gym for the first time in quite some time and it was AWESOME.  I love the elliptical and have missed it to much.  I love that you can burn so many calories in such a short amount of time.

Thursday - weight: 174.2
My weight is slowly going back down again.  I'm ready for things to go back to normal.  I'm actually looking forward to my next visit to the gym.  I'm ready to start hitting goals again and to FINALLY get out of the 170's!

I hope to be back to regular blogging again.  The blog, my notebook and now a gym membership should be the perfect combination to getting my butt back in gear and into great shape!  :)

A Recap of the Last Week

I'm not missing!  LOL  I've been super busy all week and also not feeling the greatest.  Here's a recap, however:

Saturday the 4th - weight: 172.0, did not run this day
We took all five kids out of town Saturday for a little "pre-birthday" celebration for Kaiden and Brandon and also to do a little shopping for our annual Super Bowl party.  Brandon wanted to eat at Asia Palace, which is just a big Asian buffet.  It's hard not to go overboard when you have tempura chicken, asian noodles, and beef and broccoli staring you down.  LOL  That night we went rollerskating, which I hadn't done in about 15 years.  I went out on the floor with Kaiden and made it about half way around with him before I got knocked down and had enough.  Once we got home, the kids had birthday cake and I tried to resist, but finally gave in and had a small piece.  Let's just say, when I checked my weight Sunday, I was not a happy girl.

Sunday the 5th - weight: 173.6, ran 1.25 miles with a PR of 14.24/mile

Giants vs. Patriots

Super Bowl Sunday!  For the last 4 years we have hosted parties each year (except in the 2009-2010 season, when we went to someone elses party).  We were pretty much on the go all morning and stopped at Taco Bell for lunch.  By the time we got home and people started showing up, I was in a pretty festive mood.  I really overdid it on the alcohol that night, but didn't eat anything except for lunch the whole day.  I was puking shortly after the second half started and passed out before the game was even over.  I only drank 4 beers that night, but I apparently overindulged on the shots.  :/  I woke up sitting on a cooler in the pitch dark and made my way to the couch where I passed out again.  Needless to say, the next morning was not fun.

Monday the 6th - weight: 171.2, did not run this day
Well, the only good thing about Monday was that I weighed in at my lowest weight EVER.  I didn't take it for an accurate weight, though, since I was really, really dehydrated.  I had a hard time eating Monday and didn't get any time on the treadmill in since I was sick and weak from throwing up.  Not to mention, passing out sitting up on a cooler gave me a serious neck ache.  I couldn't have ran, even if I'd wanted to.  :/

Tuesday the 7th - weight: 172.6, did not run this day
I had expected my weight to go back up a little, but I was disappointed regardless.  I didn't run Tuesday, either, because my neck was still sore and I was starting to have soreness in my groin.  We went out of town again, too, so my food log looks horrible.  I didn't eat a whole lot because I was still kind of queasy, but what I did eat was not good for my body.  AT ALL.  By the time we got home, I was upset because I didn't get to run (two days in a row, by this point) and it was too late in the evening to even attempt to.  Plus, I was just really tired and wouldn't have made it very far anyway.

Wednesday the 8th - weight: 175.4, did not run this day
My weight definitely showed how horribly I'd eaten the day before.  I was really angry with myself.  I had to work on Wednesday and by the time I got home, I was exhausted.  We went out of town again because Preston found a car he wanted to buy (his truck has proven unreliable, so I'm the only one with a decent vehicle).  I knew a run wasn't going to happen AGAIN.  My groin pain was excruciating by this point so I'd pretty much given up on ever running again.  I ate pretty horrible again, too, mostly because I was in a self-loathing kind of mood.

Thursday - weight: 173.8, ran 1 mile with a PR of 14:10/mile

Kaiden turns 5!

I woke up this morning with terrible, burning pain in my groin.  But I refused to let it stop me.  I got on the treadmill and did a mile.  I would have pushed for a bit more, but I lost my mp3 player on the floor and silly me had been cold when I'd started so I'd turned a space heater pointed towards me while I ran.  Let's just say I got pretty warm pretty fast.  LOL  We are leaving town again this afternoon for the boys' birthdays and won't be back until tomorrow evening, so I don't see a lot of healthy eating and exercise in my future.  I'll do my best, but we'll see what happens.

I'm still in a lot of pain from whatever happened to my groin muscle/joint/whatever.  If it doesn't ease up soon, I may have to go to the doctor.  It really came out of nowhere.  I was fine Sunday, but Monday I could feel a slight pain, but it has just gotten progressively worse.  I thought maybe it was like the opposite of a strain, since the pain occured when I wasn't running, but I don't know.  I guess I'll just keep an eye on it and see what happens.

My Husband, the Pusher

As I said earlier, I skipped my run yesterday.  I felt pretty guilty about it too and was really afraid that skipping once would become a habit and I'd stop running again (it's been known to happen to me pretty frequently).

Anyway, today has been a very weird day.  It's done nothing but snow all day long and I couldn't make it to work.  Ben's schedule has been really screwy and he hadn't taken much of a nap.  I had been awake since 4:00am because Ben decided he was going to start his day at that time.  All morning, I wanted to take a nap, but I never got a chance.  I also wanted to squeeze in a run, but since I was tired, I really didn't have the motivation or the energy.  Finally, around 1:30, Ben decided to try taking a nap and Preston started pushing me to do my run.  I kept whining about being tired, but he kept telling me to get my butt on the treadmill.  I finally did, just to shut him up.  I walked for a 10th of a mile and then ran a mile.  I did it in 14:33, which I think is a personal record for me, so far.  I haven't really been paying attention to time, since I've been working on increasing my distance, but now that I've busted out a mile twice, I think I'll start watching my time, as well as adding distance.  I wanted to try for a mile and a quarter today, but just as I was reaching a mile, I heard Ben screaming, so I finished my mile and went to help Preston with Ben.

Now that I'm done with my run, I feel even more tired than before, but I'm really happy that my husband pushed me into doing it.

Weekly Weigh In (02/03/12)

Last week: 175.0
This week: 172.4
Total: - 2.6lbs

I'm on the right track!  I've been staying under 1300 calories and running every day (although one day I did go over my calories by about 50, which I think helped, and I took a day off from running yesterday).

I am hoping for another decent weigh in next week.  If I hit 170, that will officially be 100lbs lost.  I can't wait to say that, although I'm disgusted with myself for having ever being that big and having to say that.  Oh well.  I'm learning a lot about my health and body because of all of this, so I suppose that's a plus.  If I'd been lucky enough to be a skinny little thing my whole life, I'd probably take it for granted.  Since I have to work for the body I want, I appreciate it that much more.  :)

I plan on getting a run in later, when Ben takes his next nap.  I skipped my run yesterday and I felt really guilty about it the whole night.  I don't want that to become a habit.  I want to run.  And now that I've ran a decent distance (1 mile), I feel I can officially call myself a runner.  In fact, I've even been scoping out some good running shoes.  I should have the money next week some time, but I'm going to set the money aside and wait until I run a full 5k distance (not an official race).  I don't want to spend $130 on shoes and then give up on running and be stuck with a cute pair of expensive shoes.

As long as I keep doing what I've been doing, I should see an excellent number next week.  Can't wait!

(Edited to Add: As I was updating my sidebar with my February stats, I realized that my BMI is now in the "overweight" category, rather than the "obese" category.  I know a lot of people are against BMI as an accurate measurement, but regardless, it makes me super happy to no longer be considered obese.)

Ran for Distance Today...

I skipped C25K today and decided to run for distance instead.  I walked the first quarter mile and then ran a nonstop mile after that!  I sooooo wanted to give up; it was getting so hard near the end but I pushed myself and now, as I sit here, cooling off and catching my breath, I feel incredible and feel so good about the power of my body and my mind.  I never thought I'd be able to run a mile.  I've wanted to do a 5k for so long, but once I'd start running, I'd laugh at myself because I could barely handle a quarter mile, so how was I going to do 3.1 miles!?  But I did a mile and that's only the beginning!

I achieved 3 goals in two days.  I'm just so...amazed at myself and the things I'm accomplishing.

- run a mile

One more goal crossed off!  Yay!

The Scale and I Aren't Getting Along...

Does a person have to lose a body part for the scale to go down a little bit more?!  Seriously...with all of the hard work I've been putting in, I sort of totally expected to see 172 this morning.  I even gave the scale two chances to redeem itself.  It refused to budge.  It was 173.2, then 173 and finally 173.2 again.  I wrote down 173.2 in my journal and slammed the thing shut.

Against my better judgment, I'm increasing my calories by 200 today.  So my goal is 1500 or less, plus doing week 3, day 2 of C25K (or may just skip that all together and just try another distance run).  I'm not technically plateau-ing quite yet, but I feel that's where I'm headed.  I hate increasing my calories so close to weigh in, but something's gotta give. :/