The Day Jimmy's Boa Ate the Wash

I went on a field trip with Kaiden's preschool class today and it was a lot of fun. We went to a farm and the kids got to pet a chicken, a duckling, a lamb, a horse and a goat.  They also got to feed some goats and tried to feed a cow, but the cow wasn't having anything to do with that.  The whole time we were there, I kept thinking of the story "The Day Jimmy's Boa Ate the Wash."  LOL  Kaiden's taking our copy of that book to school tomorrow so the teachers can read it to the class.  I got to meet some of Kaiden's friends and learned that he is really a mama's boy when we're with his friends.

After the farm we went to the park to eat.  Kaiden and his best friend really didn't feel like eating - they wanted to play instead.  I made Kaiden eat some of his nachos lunchable and then they ran off to play.  That stupid lunchable kept eyeballing me, so finally I caved and ate it.  I'd only brought a couple large bananas and they didn't do much for my appetite.

While we were there, my in laws brought Ben to the park because they were headed out of town.  The field trip was over and the kids were just playing, so we stuck around for awhile and Ben got to play in the baby swing.  The higher I pushed him, the more he loved it!

Once we left the park, I went to the gas station and got a chicken fried steak sandwich.  Well, actually I'd ordered a spicy chicken sandwich, but what I ended up with was chicken fried steak.  I'd never had it before because it looked and sounded disgusting, but it turns out it was pretty good.  Still wasn't what I wanted and probably wasn't any healthier than what I wanted, but it sufficed.

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Today is the last day of April, so I weighed myself to see how much I'd lost since the 5% challenge began on April 1st.  I'm embarrassed to say that I didn't quite reach my goal.  I only lost 2.8 pounds.  I started at 173.6 and I weighed in at 170.8 this morning.  I had kind of a rough weekend and a lot of ups and downs throughout the month.  I was doing really well for a while there, but I lost my momentum, which tends to happen a lot I've noticed.  :/

bummer

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I had two miles scheduled today but I hurt my tailbone last night so it was a little bruised.  I decided to take a rest day and run tomorrow instead.  I know, I have this schedule and I'm terrible at running when I'm supposed to, however I have made up every run I've skipped.  :)  I've successfully finished two weeks of training and logged 15 miles.  I still have 9 weeks of training and 99 miles left until the Firecracker 5k on the Fourth of July.

Aimee at Getting to 150lbs asked me a couple questions about my schedule, so I thought I'd answer it here just to make sure she saw it.  ;)  So here goes:  When I first started running, I tried to do Couch to 5k, but it progressed too slowly for me.  So then I just tried to wing it and run every day.  I created my own progressing schedule that increased a few 10ths of a mile every few days.  It began March 1st and ended April 1st.  By that time, according to my schedule, I would be running 3.1 miles.  However, I ended up injured (pulled a muscle in my back doing laundry) about midway through my month of running.  When I finally felt well enough to run again, about a week into April, I went to the high school track and just ran.  It was my first outside run and I rocked it.  I ran 3.1 miles straight in 43 minutes, 29 seconds.  You can read about it here.

After that, I attempted to just run every day or so, but I wasn't making any progress.  If anything, I was failing.  I couldn't run 3 miles again.  I had a hard enough time running 2 miles.  So I searched around online for tips to increase my endurance and get me on a schedule.  I found Smart Coach.  Since I knew my first race was on July 4th, I inputted all of the required information and it created a schedule for me.  It gave me 11 weeks to train.  I'm a control freak and I've found that lists and schedules really work for me.  If it's written down, I will follow it because I can visually see it and know it's something I HAVE to do.  I have copies of my schedule all over the place.  I also log all of my runs on my blog, on DailyMile and also in a small pocket calendar that I carry with me everywhere.  I sometimes have to move a day around for one reason or another, but so far I've done every single run that I'm supposed to do during the week.  I also tell everyone I know when I have a run scheduled and they don't let me put it off.  They encourage me to do it.

Hope that helps!  (By the way, my very first 3.1 miles was on February 28th and it was a run/walk [mostly walk because I had no energy due to low calorie consumption] and was done in 50 minutes.  I was so down on myself about that that I almost gave up on running because I didn't want to come in last during my race.  But I've improved so much since then!)

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Food Log:

• breakfast - egg and cheese english muffin, V8 (70)
• lunch - chicken fried steak sandwich, nachos lunchable
• dinner -chicken, potatoes, gravy and biscuit bake
• snack - bananas, snickers ice cream bar (180)

Awful.  :(

Three More Miles DONE!

I had three miles on the schedule yesterday, but because of my calf cramps, I decided to skip it.  So I made it up today.  I wasn't looking forward to the run at all.  I kept asking myself where my motivation went.  Once I finally got off work, I just went for it.  It turned out to be a pretty decent run.  It wasn't too hot, but the wind picked up during the second mile so that was kind of rough.

My pace was a little slower than last time, but my overall time is improving since my last three mile run so that's pretty exciting.  :)

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I had a decent day at work.  I was hungry a lot throughout my shift but I tried to do my best at not binging or overdoing it or eating stuff I would later regret.   As I'm typing this blog, it's 10:00pm and I'm hungry, but because my calories are already on the high side and it's getting late, I probably shouldn't eat anything.  I had a lot of stress after I got home and usually stress is good for curbing my appetite but now that I've calmed down, I'm kind of hungry.  LOL  Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day.  I have a weigh in for the April 5% body weight loss challenge first thing in the morning and then I'm going on a field trip with Kaiden's preschool class!  Exciting!

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Food Log:

• breakfast - activia yogurt with granola (320)
• lunch - 3 santa fe egg rolls with salsa (520)
• dinner - cottage cheese (220), doritos (420)
• snack - snickers ice cream bar (180)
• water - 47.4 ounces

total calories:  1660

Not too bad.  :)

Fitness Log:

• run outside - 3 miles/13.07min pace, 39.27 minutes total/??? calories burned

total calories burned:  ???

Forgot to check the calories burned and can't seem to find the Garmin right now.  :/

Fun at the Park

I woke up this morning and I felt like my calf muscles were atrophying.  They hurt so bad!  I figured it was due to not properly cooling down after my run on Thursday, but my mom seems to think it could be from dehydration, but I drank almost 50 ounces of water that day!

Speaking of water and hydration - I haven't been doing so well the last few days.  I am not a fan of water AT ALL, but when I'm running and working out a lot, I will drink it a lot for a few days straight.  But then I get burnt out on drinking it and will stop all together.  I've hit that point recently.  I did great Thursday, but Friday and today I haven't had any water.  I just can't bring myself to drink it unless it's super hot or I'm in a major fitness mood.  :/  Gotta get my water consumption back up.

I had a three mile run scheduled today but because of my calves, I just couldn't do it.  I'll do it tomorrow, either before work or after.  That means I'll be running 5 miles in two days since I have two miles scheduled for Monday, or I could move my schedule over a day again.  I don't know.  We'll see when the time comes but I DEFINITELY have to get the three miles in tomorrow.  I've been doing so well.  :)

We have my stepson and stepdaughter for the weekend so we went to the park today after lunch.  I found out that our tiny little park doesn't have a baby swing, which made me kind of sad.  I had to put Ben on my lap and hold on to him while we swung.  It made him sleepy and he laid his head on my chest, but he loved it.  He smiled the whole time.

I took a few pictures of the kids, but Kaiden ran home to use the bathroom, so he didn't get in any of them.  :(

Ben and Blair

Brandon, Kyle, Ben and Blair

Brandon walking on monkey bars

My food was kind of all over the place.  I tried to keep track, but they still ended up being pretty high.  I shouldn't have had the starbucks mocha frappuccino.  That was a waste of 300 calories.  :/

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Food Log:

• breakfast - egg and cheese english muffin (300), starbucks mocha frappuccino (300)
• lunch - grilled chicken (117), cottage cheese (90), grillin' beans (85), beer (220)
• dinner -jalapeno ranch turkey burger (362), beer (110)
• snack - belvita breakfast biscuits (230), cool ranch doritos (300)

total calories: 2114

Weekly Weigh In (04/27/12)

Last week: 168.0
This week: 168.8
Total: + .8

Even though I gained, I am actually pretty proud of myself.  I know that over the weekend I had done some damage but I managed to reverse most of it through the week.  Today has been kind of a blah day, mostly due to the weather, I'm sure.  I started out the day by counting calories and hoping I'd be able to squeeze 20 minutes in at the gym after work, but by noon I decided that I was just going to enjoy food today and not count everything.  I wasn't going to over do it on purpose because I really don't enjoy spending my week trying to fix my over indulgences; I'd rather continue with progress each week.  But I just wanted to enjoy a few things that I've been denying myself and I'll get back into the groove tomorrow.  Also, I didn't make it to the gym, which wasn't a huge concern of mine because by the time I left work, I was exhausted and just wanted to relax.  But I have three miles scheduled tomorrow and I hope to take care of them first thing in the morning.  :)

April 30th is only a few days away and I still need to lose 4.1 pounds to hit the 5% goal and I'm not real sure it's going to happen, but I'm sure going to try!

Preston, the Birthday Boy!

Preston's 1st birthday

Today is Preston's 31st birthday.  Last month, I took him to a store and had him choose a new barbeque grill for his birthday (we were in dire need of an upgrade, especially with the frequency in which we grill in the summertime).  We put it on layaway, with the hopes to pay it off by May, which was after his birthday.  Well, unbeknownst to him, I went and paid it off today and brought it home.  Needless to say, he was surprised and grateful to have it already.  It needed assembled, so we didn't use it tonight.  We grilled at his parents' house instead, but as soon as we got home, he started putting it together:

I warned him I was taking pics, but he wouldn't put a shirt on

I may have gone over my calories today (ate a lot of stuff that I'm unsure of the calorie count) but I got a pretty decent work out in.  I ran my two miles and I went to the gym while Brandon went to soccer practice.

This was my fastest pace outside yet!  I'm adding two more goals to achieve - an 11:59 pace and a 10:59 pace.  I will admit to having stopped to walk during this run, because Preston called me to tell me to call the school because Brandon was trying to get ahold of me.  I was going to walk a 10th of a mile during the run anyway, but it happened sooner than I'd hoped.  But I did alright.  It was humid as hell because it had rained all morning, but I still did it.  :)

Tomorrow is weigh in.  I'm a little nervous.  I can't change the outcome now, but I hope I fixed what I'd messed up throughout the week.

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Food Log:

• breakfast - egg and cheese english muffin
• lunch - egg and cheese english muffin
• dinner - cheeseburger, macaroni salad, 2 two-bite brownies
• snack - cotton candy ice cream, special k protein shake (190)
• water - 47.4 ounces

We grilled with Preston's parents for his birthday and while I didn't overdo it (in my opinion), I thoroughly enjoyed it, especially after my workout tonight.

Fitness Log:

• run outside - 2 miles/12:55 pace, 25:54 minutes total/225 calories burned
• elliptical - 45 minutes/341 calories burned

total calories burned:  566 calories

I took it pretty easy on the elliptical tonight. I was sweating like a pig and exhausted, but I persevered.

Patience is Not My Forte

I got a phone call from the school this morning at about 9:30am telling me that Brandon had gotten sand thrown in his face during first recess and that even though they'd flushed his eyes, he was complaining that the left one felt gritty and it was blurry.  So of course I left work and took him to the doctor.  I didn't have an appointment, so we had to wait for those with appointments to go first until there was a lull and we could get in.  I lack patience.  Like, seriously have zero patience whatsoever.  I totally understand the policy - I didn't have an appointment, so I had to wait.  No big deal, I get that.  But there were only two people ahead of us when we got there and we still had to wait an hour in the waiting room.  Then once they called his name, we ended up waiting another half hour in the exam room.  FINALLY the doctor came in.  She took a look at his eye and dabbed some dye in it so she could use a black light to check and see if there were any scratches on his cornea.  Luckily, there weren't, but she could see two scratches on the white of his eye, which she thought was what caused his discomfort.  She knew that I'd had Ben in a few months ago for a swollen eye, so she told me to go ahead and use the leftover drops from his prescription to help Brandon's eye heal.  I was pretty grateful for that, because I remember Ben's eyedrops costing quite a bit (neither of us have insurance - we both work for small companies that don't offer benefits).

I'm not sure what irritated me more - the fact that we waited so long for her to spend 10 minutes with us, or the fact that I have to pay for a doctors visit that lasted 10 minutes when I could have tried the eyedrops without having consulted her first.  :/  No matter what, I would have taken him to the doctor, I guess, because I don't like dealing with the eyes.  Brandon had an infection behind his eye once when he was 2 and he ended up having to get an MRI because the doctor misdiagnosed him the first time he  saw him.  So I don't take things like that lightly.  But it's kind of annoying to pay for a doctor visit when the doctor only spends a short bit of time with you to tell you something you could have tried on your own.

Oh well.

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Today was a cross training day so I was going to work out but I, as usual, ran out of time.  I had errands to run after work and they took longer than I'd anticipated.  I feel bad leaving the boys with my mother in law too much longer than after work, so I decided not to work out today.  I'm regretting it now, though, after looking at my calories consumed today.  *sigh*  I was doing so well...

I've always been a fan of pasta, but lately I've been craving the same mixture: pasta, peas, onions, a little ranch dressing and either cheddar or parmesan cheese.  It's my "go to" meal when I'm not interested in what the rest of the family is eating or I feel that what they're eating isn't within my caloric limits.

so simple, yet so good

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I wanted to thank you guys for the kind words yesterday.  A lot of what was said was true.  I still have a hard time accepting compliments, and maybe that is part of my problem when people say I inspire them.  I've never taken compliments well.  LOL

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Food Log:

• breakfast - activia yogurt with granola (320)
• lunch -  santa fe egg roll with sour cream (400)
• dinner - pasta salad (385)
• snack - snickers ice cream bar (180), cottage cheese (180), doritos (280)
• water - 23.7 ounces

total calories: 1745

I had a hard time not eating everything in sight today.  I did well at work, but once I got home, it seemed to be a free for all because I was soooo hungry.  :(

I Feel Like a Fraud Sometimes

I got my run in this morning at 9:00am.  I thought for sure it'd be early enough to beat the heat, but I was way wrong about that.  I'm surprised I didn't melt into a little Marcia puddle on the road.  It wasn't the easiest run.  Not only did the heat get to me, but I didn't eat anything prior to my run.  I hadn't eaten anything since about 6:30 or so last night, so I had nothing to fuel my run.  Plus, I thought I could do it without hydrating midway and that ended up being a mistake.  I walked at 1 mile (for a 10th of a mile), 1.9 miles (for a 10th of a mile), 2.65 miles (for a 15th of a mile) and I stopped at my house at 2.4 miles to run inside and get some water.  That made the last .60 mile really hard.  I felt like puking the rest of the run, probably because I drank too much water or drank it too quickly.  I don't know, but I thought for sure I wasn't going to make it without throwing up first.  The rest of my run was spent convincing myself that throwing up water on an empty stomach was not going to be a good thing.

3 miles, time: 40:27, 13:30 pace, 395 calories burned

It's kind of hard to read because I had to go into the laps history and find my stats.  I had forgotten to reset everything before I started my run (honestly, I have no idea how to do that; the reset button doesn't work for me, so I just get lucky usually), so it started this run as an additional lap to my last run.  And then I turned the Garmin off before I took the picture and I couldn't figure out how to recall the information except for in the laps history.  So this is what I have for stats.  LOL  Anyway, I shaved two minutes off my 3 mile run, and that's with walking 3 times.  I started out strong during this run, though.  I maintained an 11-12 minute pace for quite some time.  It wasn't until I walked that it got into the 13 minute range.

Tomorrow is going to be a cross training day and then Thursday I have a 2 mile run scheduled.  I think I might have to start getting up early and run before work or, if it's my day off, run before everyone gets up for school and work because even though I thought 9am was going to be cool enough for a 3 miler, I was definitely wrong.  The heat really hit me hard.  But that means sacrificing my sleep and getting up before 4:30am on work days because I'll definitely have to squeeze in a shower before work.

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After my run this morning, I posted on Facebook that I finished my run without puking, passing out or quitting.  One of the comments in response to it kind of bothered me.  A friend of mine called me their hero and said I was awesome.  I appreciate the kindness, but I feel like a fraud.  I don't know if I can articulate it well, but I'll try.  I don't feel like a hero.  I don't even feel like an inspiration.  :/  I have struggled so badly since before I got pregnant with Ben in December 2010.  I was in the high 170's when I found out I was pregnant with him and I'd been there since at least November.  And after Ben was born in August 2011, I STILL struggled with my weight in the 170's  It wasn't until March 2012 that I finally broke the 170's and saw the high 160's and only three times since then have I had a weigh in that was still in the 160's.  So, really, I feel like I've been struggling with the 170's for over a year and a half, even though I had a pregnancy thrown in for 9 of those months.  I don't feel like I'm accomplishing anything, so to be called an inspiration or a hero really bothers me right now because I don't feel like I'm giving anyone a reason to be inspired.  :/  I guess if they feel that way, that's great, but I just feel like I'm letting everyone, including myself, down.  It's not a good feeling.

When I started this, I had a wonderful inspiration.  But she's not my inspiration anymore because her weight loss got to her head and made her kind of an awful person.  She got more attention from other men, men that hadn't given her the time of day when she weighed over 300 pounds.  She loved the attention and ran wild with it.  Now, that's all good and dandy, but the thing is, she was married and she ruined her marriage and her 4 kids are now suffering because of her selfishness.  It makes me sad that weight loss could do this to a person.  I'm sure there are other factors behind the whole demise of the relationship, but the weight loss was a large part of it.

I want to be an inspiration to people, I want to help motivate people.  I loved the advice and encouragement my friend originally gave me and I love the person I've become.  But since I'm constantly struggling now, I just don't feel like I'm the inspiration or motivation that people deserve.  I haven't given up, though, so I suppose that's admirable.  I don't know, it's just another one of those self-esteem issues I need to work through, I guess.

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Food Log:

• lunch -  chili dog (384)
• dinner - pasta salad (1007)
• snack - swiss cake roll (370)
• energy - 5 hour energy (4)
• water - 23.7 ounces

total calories: 1665

Calories are high today, but dinner was pretty heavy.  I wasn't hungry most of the day but then I was ravenous by dinner.

Fitness Log:

• run outside - 3 miles/13:30 pace, 40:27 total/395 calories burned

Running is Quality Time With Me

I'm a little frustrated with today.  I had planned all day to get my scheduled 3 mile run in after Preston was home from work and Kaiden and I were home from soccer practice.  Somehow I ran out of time after dinner was made and everyone was settled down for the night.  :/  So now I have to shove my entire schedule over a day, with the exception of my Saturday run, which I will still do on Saturday (I hope - it's a weekend with all the kids and we have a soccer game that day, so who knows if I'll be able to get away for 45 minutes.)

I know that in retrospect, it's really not a big deal.  It's not life or death if I don't get my run in, but I'm trying to take this seriously and I feel like I'm not getting a lot of help or support from anyone in real life.  Thankfully, my mother in law is pretty helpful and is willing to take Ben tomorrow morning while Kaiden is in preschool so I can get my run in, but since she watches the boys during the days that I work, I feel bad asking her to take them when it's my day off.  :/

Even though I don't really LOVE running yet, I do consider it my "me" time, even though the entire time I'm running I'm cussing at myself, wondering why I'm putting myself through hell.  LOL  But it's the way I feel afterwards that keeps pushing me forward - I feel incredible and working out and running are really the only things I do that is truly for myself.

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I didn't eat too badly today.  When I don't work out, I like to keep my calories at about 1300, but since I'd planned on running this evening, I had an afternoon snack, which helped put me over.  I guess I could have skipped my second snack (the ice cream), but that was my sweet treat for the day and I had really been looking forward to it, so I indulged.  :)

Just trying to keep my eye on the prize - a great weigh in on Friday and hopefully meet my goal for April!

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Food Log:

• lunch - chili dog (372), doritos (140)
• dinner -chili dog (384), cottage cheese (168)
• snack - cottage cheese (244), snickers ice cream bar (180)

total calories: 1488

Not bad.  Not awesome, since I didn't do anything physical today, but at least I feel pretty good about my choices.

Temptation Got the Best of Me

Well, I had to work today and temptation did, as the title indicates, get the best of me.  *sigh*  I didn't do as bad as I have on previous weekends, but I'm still a little mad at myself for giving into the gooey cinnamon roll with sticky caramel sauce and then later the mashed potatoes with country gravy.  What makes me most mad about the last part is that it wasn't even that good.  But I ate it anyway.  :/  And then there was dinner, which got out of hand, too.

On the plus side, I did hit the gym today, since I was scheduled for resting or cross training.  I've "rested" every off day this week, so I decided it was time to get my butt in the gym, especially after today's awful eating.  I only did the elliptical for 30 minutes, but I managed to burn 340 calories, so I hope that helps create a deficit of sorts.  Probably not, but maybe it at least took care of the darn doughnut I ate before I left work.  *shake my head*

I know, I'm pretty hard on myself.  It's something I'm trying to overcome, but as they say, you will always be your toughest critic.  And I tend to be very overcritical.  It's my defense mechanism.  If I criticize myself before you do, then I beat you to the punch and it doesn't hurt as much.  (You, as in, you in general, by the way).

I guess the good thing about today is that I still have 4 days until weigh in to fix everything.  I have two runs scheduled during that time as well, plus I hope to get into the gym at least one of the rest days.  I looked for my 30 Day Shred DVD tonight because I thought I could do that on my rest days when I can't get to the gym, but it seems to have disappeared.  :/  Oh well.  I have a pilates DVD that I borrowed from a friend but haven't checked out yet.

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Food Log:

• breakfast - cinnamon roll
• lunch -  2 santa fe chicken egg rolls with sour cream (400), mashed potatoes and country gravy
• dinner - turkey burger (335), doritos (280), pasta salad (375), beer (110)
• snack - cake doughnut, cottage cheese (160), zebra cake (160)
• water - 47.4 ounces

I ate like crap today.  I can't deny it.  :(

Fitness Log:

• elliptical - 30 minutes/340 calories burned

Run 366 Miles Challenge

As part of my 12 in 2012, I am challenging myself to run 366 miles - one mile for every day of the year (2012 is a Leap Year).  I'm afraid that it's a hefty goal since I'm a beginner and am having trouble with distance, but I really need something to help push me and I hope that this will help.

Soccer, Grillin' and a 3 Mile Run

What a day!  I woke up about 7:00 this morning and thought about my scheduled 3 mile run.  I really needed a shower though, so I took a quick one and then spent some more time thinking about getting my run over with first thing this morning.  I thought about it for so long, that I ran out of time!  We had to leave the house to meet my parents by 8:30 and I have to plan for at least 45 minutes for 3 miles, since my pace tends to be on the slow side.

Brandon had a soccer game this morning, so we spent the first part of the day on the road and watching the game.  Preston helped my stepdad put in a new hot water heater while we were at the game so we ended up at my mom's afterwards.  My mom decided to grill burgers and hot dogs for lunch.  She had an assortment of side dishes and it was really hard not to overdo it.  I love grilling.  All the goodies that go along with it are major comfort foods and it's hard to resist.  :)

Once we got home, I decided I needed to get my run over with so I could relax the rest of the evening since I have to work in the morning.  I decided not to map out a route on Google maps because I haven't had a lot of luck with the distance being accurate.  So I pretty much went on this run blindly.  I ended up choosing a route that had some hills and one of the side roads was really soft (most of my route is dirt roads since the area I live in is rural) and made for a lot of resistance.  It was also pretty breezy and the sun was beating on me.  I never thought I was going to finish.  I decided to walk a 1/10th of a mile at 1.40 miles and 2.4 miles.  I had a really bad burning pain in my stomach for most of the run so I was struggling a lot.  By the time I got home, I was ready to die.  My lungs were on fire and I was soooo thirsty.  I gulped down some water and then I saw the kids' Capri Sun's and drank one of those.  That helped a lot.  The sugary drink tasted amazing.

Even with walking twice for 1/10 of a mile each time, my pace was still a 13:47.  I thought for sure my pace was going to be awful.  According to the Garmin, I burned 396 calories, but DailyMile said 633.  I'd like to believe the second one, because that'd be awesome, but I have my doubts.  LOL

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I added a new tab for past and current challenges.  I'm hoping to participate in more if I find some that sound interesting.  I have not done well on the last few, but the one I'm currently doing for April has really gotten me motivated.  :)

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Food Log:

• breakfast - egg and cheese english muffin (300)
• lunch -  cheeseburger, baked beans, cottage cheese, cole slaw
• dinner - beef chow mein with asian style vegetables (80)
• snack -  belvita breakfast biscuits (230), Capri Sun (30), cottage cheese (240)
• energy - 5 hour energy (4)
• water - 23.7 ounces

Unsure of the calories for what I had at lunch, but I took small portions, so I don't think I did too terribly.

Fitness Log:

• run outside - 3 miles/13:47 pace, 42:29 total/396 calories burned

Kindergarten Round Up

I spent some time working on the blog last night.  I added two more tabs to the top of the blog - pictures and races.  I added quite a few pictures to sort of show you how out of control my weight was.  The whole process was sort of emotional.  Looking at past pictures of myself was a real eye opener.  I suppose the new tab is not only for you, but also for myself, when I get bummed or feel like I'm in a rut.  I have made progress.  A LOT of progress and I've learned so much during this entire process that I don't think I'll ever be that person again.  I was not a very happy person back then.  Sure, I'm smiling in a lot of the pictures, but I was really depressed most of the time.  I don't necessarily think my weight had much to do with that, but it certainly didn't help, especially when my weight effected the way people treated me or reacted towards me.  As for the other new tab - the races tab - it's pretty much blank   It just has the races I'm anticipating running, but after July, I'll have my first race report!  :)

he sucks on his lower lip :(

I had a scheduled rest day/cross training day today.  I had planned on breaking out the kettlebell that I insisted Preston buy for me a few months ago but have never used.  I spent some time on YouTube last night looking at different ways to utilize the kettlebell so I definitely had a plan in mind.  However, the day sort of got away from me.  Kaiden had Kindergarten Round Up this morning from 9-1:30, so I spent the day with my cousin and her 10 month old daughter, Jaymee, so that I didn't have to spend so much time driving back and forth.  I had a great time with my cousins and it was fun to watch Ben interact with a kid his own age.  I think he was fascinated - all the other kids he's ever been around (just his siblings) are so much bigger than him, but he and Jaymee are only 7 weeks apart, so they're about the same size.  She's a little ahead on most things than him, but then again, she also has those 7 weeks on him.  LOL  But it was definitely a good time and I hope to have more playdates with them in the future.  :)

At 1:00 I had to leave Ben for a bit to attend a parent's meeting for the Kindergarteners.  At the meeting, I learned that Kaiden will be a part of the class of 2025 (now that's putting it into perspective - WOW!) and that his class is one of the biggest they've had in awhile.  There are 40 kids in his class.  I've mentioned before that I live in a pretty rural area, but to really show you how big the average classes are in the school, I'll tell you that Brandon's 3rd grade class has 10 kids.  That's just in his class though.  There is another 3rd grade class (all the elementary grades have 2 separate classes) and I believe they have about the same amount of kids.  So the Kindergarten class going in this Fall is about double the size of Brandon's entire class of kids.  Astounding!  And I know a lot of the parents of the kids Kaiden will be in school with, so that's nice.  :)

After Kindergarten Round Up, I picked up Ben and went back to town to hang out for a bit until Brandon got out of school.  I took the boys to get ice cream and then we headed home.  It was nearly 4:00 by the time we pulled up to the house and Ben hadn't slept much because of the excitement of hanging out with Jaymee, so I put him down for a nap and laid down on the couch to type up this blog.  I wasn't tired until the ride home and now I'm beat.  I could still try out the kettlebell, but finishing up this blog and taking a quick nap before Preston gets home sounds way better.  ;)

After Preston gets home from work and gets cleaned up, we'll be heading to town again (it's never ending, this driving back and forth, I swear) to drop the boys off with my mom and then we're going to have drinks with another couple. My calories are going to be off from what I've posted so far, but I don't plan on going too overboard.  Brandon has a soccer game tomorrow morning and I have a 3 mile run scheduled as well, so I don't want to be hungover.  Besides, I'm tired and would like to have an early night tonight (doubt that's going to happen, but we'll see).

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Food Log:

• breakfast - belvita breakfast biscuits (230), egg and cheese english muffin (300)
• lunch - 1/4 of pepperoni pizza (308)
• dinner - 
• snack - belvita breakfast biscuits (230), doritos (140)

total calories: 1208

Weekly Weigh In (04/20/12)

Last week: 169.0
This week: 168.0
Total: - 1.0

A loss is a loss, I suppose, though I'd hoped for a little more.  :/  Oh well.  I have 10 days and 3.1 pounds to go to reach my April goal of a 5% body weight loss.  I think it's doable, as long as I keep pushing forward.

Pickle Juice for Recovery

So I was super excited yesterday when I heard that Red Bull came out with a CALORIE FREE energy drink.  But I was even more excited when I heard we were getting it today!  As soon as the guy brought it in, we put a can on ice.  I couldn't wait to try it.  I am a HUGE fan of sugar free Red Bull (which only has 20 calories for the big can) but if I could still enjoy Red Bull and save myself 20 calories, heck ya, I'd be willing to try it.

Well, I was a little disappointed.  It wasn't awful, by any means, but it just didn't taste like my Red Bull.  I'm sure it'll grow on me if I drink it enough (not gonna lie - I didn't like the sugar free stuff at first either, but I forced myself to like it and now I'm addicted).  It had a different taste to it, which I expected, but I just couldn't see myself drinking it by the case like I could the sugar free stuff.  Seriously...before I was pregnant with Ben, I was drinking about 3 of the big cans a day.  When I found out I was pregnant, I quit it cold turkey and boy, was that tough.  Drinking my first Red Bull after Ben was born was way more anticipated than drinking my first beer.  LOL  I'm addicted, but I'm only up to about a can or two a week now, if that.  I've been pretty good about not drinking one daily unless I really feel I need it.  :)

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After my tantrum yesterday, I decided that NOTHING was going to stop me from doing 2 miles today.  And nothing stopped me.  I wasn't really into it at all, but I finished and that's really all that matters.  After my pathetically slow run (will my pace ever improve???) I was encouraged by a friend to drink some pickle juice.  Apparently it's good for recovery?  I don't know - all I know is that I was super thirsty and ANYTHING wet sounded really good.  So I drank about half a cup of it.  And then immediately regretted it.  *sigh*  I have weigh in tomorrow! I hope all of the sodium doesn't make me retain water.  I might actually cry if I just sabotaged myself.  I know it won't be permanent damage, but considering I record my weigh in's on Fridays, it might not look pretty.  :/

I really wish my pace would improve.  I assume it will, but the more I look at my various times, the more I worry that my race will be slooooow in July.  :/  I know, I have time for improvement, but I'm pretty impatient.  LOL

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Food Log:

• breakfast - belvita breakfast biscuits (230)
• lunch - santa fe egg rolls with sour cream and salsa (420)
• dinner - cheeseburger (540)
• energy - 5 hour energy (4)
• water - 47 ounces

total calories: 1194

For some reason, after I work out or run, I'm not very hungry.  Some people tell me they are ravenous after a good work out, but I have to force myself to eat.  I ate dinner, but didn't over do it because I know weigh in tomorrow is already going to be pretty iffy.

Fitness Log:

• run outside - 2 miles/13:30 pace, 27:01 total/176 calories burned

No Excuses

What a day.  After work I had to go and pick up some furniture for the boys' bedroom.  By the time I got home, I could barely keep my eyes open.  My mother in law brought Kaiden and Ben home since my Suburban was full of furniture and there wasn't any room for the kids.  As soon as she left, I laid Ben down for a nap because she said he hadn't slept much and was getting cranky.  I was thankful for the few minutes to close my eyes.  I don't know where all of my energy has gone, but I'm ready for it to come back.  I stayed up too late last night and was up too early for work this morning, so I'm sure that's my problem - just not enough sleep.

I had 2 miles on the schedule today...but I didn't run.  :/  I wanted to do it, but I honestly didn't think I could put one foot in front of the other for very long.  So I'm definitely doing it tomorrow.  I'm going to go to bed decently early tonight and right after work tomorrow I'm hitting the road.  NO EXCUSES.

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Food Log:

• breakfast - activia yogurt with granola (320), belvita breakfast biscuit (115)
• lunch - santa fe egg roll (400), salad with ranch (200)
• dinner - grilled cheese with ketchup (155), chicken noodle soup (140)
• snack - cottage cheese (210), doritos (280), lucky charms with 2% milk (200)
• water - 47 ounces

Total calories: 2020

Calories were high today. Once I ate breakfast, it was all over.  I was ready to binge.  I managed to stop myself from really going overboard, but I let myself get too hungry and then overdid it when I finally did eat.  :/

On the plus side, I did drink quite a bit of water today.  It gave me a headache, but it was a start.  :)

www.minusonehundred.com

I bought a domain name last night for the blog!  I'm still hosted through Blogger but now using www.minusonehundred.com will get you to my blog just as easily!  I like having a domain for it, just because it looks better - more professional, I guess.  I decided to just go for it because I love blogging and I love my readers and I don't have any plans to quit writing anytime soon.  :)

Blah

I woke up this morning super sore and stiff.  As soon as I stood up, I told myself there was no way I was running two miles today.  Even if if my body limbered up, I doubted I'd have the energy.  There was obviously a reason the schedule threw in rest days/cross training days between runs.  So, I decided to just stick to the schedule and take advantage of a rest day and just run tomorrow, per the schedule.

I added a tab at the top of the blog for my training schedule.  I made so many copies of this thing so that I have no excuse to skip a run or "forget" about it.  It's on my laptop, my blog, in my wallet, in my purse and on the family bulletin board with all the other schedules and important information.  I'm going to rock this training.  :)

if you click on it, it'll be large enough to read :/

I'm not sure what my deal was today, but I had no energy so I didn't do much today except lay around on the couch.  I managed to get up and make dinner for everyone and now we're headed out for a soccer game.  As soon as that's over, I'm resuming my position on the couch.  I hope I'm not  getting sick.  I have to work tomorrow, plus I have 2 miles scheduled and I have to go pick up some furniture for the boys' room after work.  Busy day tomorrow.  Hope I have the energy.  :/

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Food Log:

• lunch - black and bleu burger
• dinner -cheese party pizza (660)
• snack - snickers ice cream bar (180), doritos (140), cottage cheese (80)

Felt so blah today that I didn't eat very often, but when I did, I sure scarfed down the calories.  :/

Started 5k Training Today

I hope no one thinks badly of me about my post yesterday regarding the Facebook challenge.  I re-read my post and I almost feel like I came off as overly bragging about winning a large pot and only losing 3 pounds to do so.  I didn't mean to come off like that...I just thought it was ridiculous that anyone would still give me the pot when someone else did so much better, even though she didn't get her money in on time.  As I said, though, the whole challenge turned into a joke and I am giving the money to Jenn (that is if I ever see it; we have our doubts that the money will ever be sent out after all the other drama that unfolded during the challenge).  She earned it and I'm super proud of her.  :)

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My cousin's daughter is turning a year old in June and I got her invitation in the mail the other day.  My cousin is also a scrapbooker (our mom's are scrappers, too - it runs in the family, I guess, LOL) so she handmade her daughter's invites and they are super cute.  I've been looking on Pinterest for 1st birthday ideas for Ben's birthday in August and getting my cousin's invite really got me in the creative mindset.  I have 4 months to plan Ben's birthday, so if I don't procrastinate for once, I might be able to pull off a really great party!  LOL

not sure what's going on with the little fuzzy spots

Since I was in a creative mood today, I did a quick page for my wedding album.  When we first started talking about a Vegas wedding, I fell in love with the Stratosphere.  I am somewhat adventurous and the thought of jumping from the top of the Strat was pretty thrilling.  Unfortunately, it's hard to pry large amounts of money from my fingers and the $100 fee for the jump was not something I was eager to pay.  Oh, and I was 7 months pregnant, so it really wasn't an option anyway.  LOL  But I would LOVE to do it someday.  Maybe.  I'd probably pee my pants by the time I looked over the landing.  Anyway, I scrapped my pictures of the Stratosphere today.  As usual, the picture doesn't do it justice.  :)

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I started my 5k training today, with a schedule I created with Smart Coach.  I really think this is a schedule I can keep up with.  I may have to move my running day around once in awhile, but as long as I do each of the scheduled amounts of miles, I should be okay.  Today was an easy 2 mile run.  In my world, there is no such thing as an easy run.  I ended up doing it on the treadmill today because with soccer tonight, I wouldn't have had any other free time to do it.  Right away, the boredom of the treadmill got the best of me.  I powered through, though.  My breathing was actually pretty excellent today.  The only problem, besides boredom, was that I got really hot.  :/  I had a fan on me, but that really didn't help much.

2 miles, 27:54 minutes, 311 calories burned

Tomorrow is a scheduled rest day/cross training day, but I think I'm going to swap Tuesday and Wednesday around because I'll be able to get to the gym Wednesday, but not tomorrow.  The rest of my week looks like this:

• Tuesday - 2 miles
• Wednesday - cross train
• Thursday - cross train
• Friday - rest
• Saturday - 3 miles
• Sunday - cross train

I'm pretty excited about following this schedule.  I was doing pretty good when I had a schedule to follow prior to my injury in March, so I think this is really going to work out.  Plus, this schedule has me doing 117 miles during the 10 week training, which will put a nice dent in my goal of 366 miles logged for the year.  :)

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Food Log:

• lunch - chicken noodle soup (200), grilled cheese with ketchup (155)
• dinner -  doritos (280), cottage cheese (180)
• snack - banana (127), fruity pebbles and 2% milk (391)
• energy - sugarfree red bull (20)

total calories: 1353

I was too tired after soccer practice to find a really healthy dinner.  The kids and Preston had goulash, which I don't care for, so I just grabbed what was easy.  I wasn't actually hungry, but I know that I have to eat, even when I don't want to.  :/

Fitness Log:

• run treadmill - 2 miles/13:56 pace, 27:54 minutes total/311 calories burned

total calories burned:  311 calories

Calories are based off what the treadmill said.  DailyMile said I burned 407 calories.  Rule of thumb says I burned 200 calories (100 calories for every mile) so I have no idea what I should go by.  In my head, I'll assume 200, because using the Garmin, it tends to go by the 100 calories per mile idea.

The FB Challenge

I cannot believe I didn't post yesterday!  We were so busy with a soccer game and a family barbecue yesterday that I was too tired to blog last night.  I ate far too much and drank too much last night.  I attempted to keep track of my calories and even tried to fight off everyone's offer for beer, but I finally gave in.  I can't even tell you what I ate last night.  It was pretty much a little bit of everything.  If this is how the summer barbecues are going to be, I might be in some serious trouble.  :/

I haven't worked out for a few days and I haven't ran since Thursday.  The weather here has been absolutely CRAPPY and since I finally started running outside, the treadmill doesn't even sound like fun.  I just can't bring myself to do it.  I've been really concerned with my running lately and my lack of endurance.  I've scoured the internet for a few days now for clues as to why I can't run very far again and I think I found the reason.  It's actually quite a few factors, really.  I downloaded a training schedule from Smart Coach and I'm going to try to keep up with it.  I was actually supposed to start it today, but the wind came up and I refuse to do 2 miles on the treadmill.  So I'm going to make it up tomorrow.  Well...that's the plan, anyway.  :)

So, back in October I had joined a weight loss challenge on Facebook with about 10 other people.  The group was pretty messed up from the start.  Some people wanted to do percentage of weight lost to win the pot, others wanted to do pounds lost to win the pot.  So then there were two different pots.  Rules were being added or changed after the challenge began.  The challenge was supposed to end April 1st, but one of the ladies that started the challenge wanted to extend it to June 1st, so it was voted and approved upon.  That same woman hadn't lost any weight the entire time, but shortly after it was extended, she started a weight loss regimen (similar to Nutrasystem, I guess) that had her losing weight pretty rapidly.  Another girl (Jenn at The BEGINNING and the END!) and I felt that this was almost cheating - that she had lengthened the challenge knowing that she had an upper hand to win the pot (there's a lot more to it, but that's the jist).  Anyway, after hearing her brag incessantly, I couldn't keep my mouth shut any longer.  I decided to drop out of the challenge.  I wasn't going to win and I was fine with that.  But Jenn had really worked her butt off (literally) and was very close to losing, all because the "Nutrasystem" woman was suddenly dropping weight faster than I thought possible.  :/  So when I announced that I was dropping out, shit hit the fan.  The "Nutrasystem" woman threw a tantrum and dropped out and it was decided that the rest of us in the group that were participating were just going to do a final weigh in and call it good.  So then Jenn was declared the winner because she lost the most weight.  This all happened two weeks ago.  She still hasn't received the winning pot and come to find out, "Nutrasystem" woman decided that Jenn shouldn't get to win the pot because she had never sent her money in.  So...of the rest of us that did participate and did send in our money for the pot, I was declared the winner.  Supposedly there is $300 in the pot.  You know how much weight I lost to win that pot?  3 pounds.  Yep.  You read that right.  I lost 3 measly pounds to win $300.  Seriously.  I should totally enter more of these challenges.  LOL

I'm a decent person though.  I offered to send Jenn all the money once I get it.

Well, I'm going to end this post on a funny note.  It was pretty cool and windy during the soccer game and I had forgotten to bring a hat for Ben.  All I could find in the car was a headband I use when I run.  It was big enough to cover his ears.  The only problem?  It's pink.  Preston said we could absolutely NOT put a pink headband on his baby boy.  I did it anyway, just because I really wanted to cover Ben's ears (the other boys were prone to ear infections as babies and we've been soooo lucky with Ben - he hasn't gotten one yet).  Well, of course I had to take a picture:

this picture literally makes me LOL

isn't he adorable!  LOL

It's okay.  You can laugh.  ;)

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Food Log:

• breakfast - breakfast pizza slice
• lunch - pepperoni pizza slice
• dinner - Arby's jr roast beef with cheese (280), cottage cheese (225), doritos (525)
• snack - roast beef (351), banana (113)

My calories were a little on the high side today (probably - I don't know the calories in the slices of pizza I had, but I'm guessing astronomical) but I was pretty stressed out this morning.  Preston and I argued first thing this morning before I went to work and I took out my frustrations on a slice of pizza for breakfast, some succulent roast beef before lunch and then another slice of pizza at lunch.  :/  A mistake I'm sure I'll pay for.

Changes to the Blog

Well, as you can see from this morning's post, weigh in was awesome.  :)  I'm so happy to be in the 160's again and I plan to keep it that way.  Well, until I hit the 150's, that is.  ;)

mini marshmallows, banana, pb2 and milk

I didn't have to work today, so breakfast was a little late.  Actually, I rarely eat breakfast on my days off, just because I'm not hungry until lunch time.  But I bought bananas yesterday and a smoothie sounded pretty good.  I tossed a large banana, a quarter cup of milk (ran out of almond milk and forgot to get some more - booo) and two tablespoons of PB2 into the blender and whipped it up.  It barely made anything!  So I was looking around the kitchen and saw mini marshmallows.  Okay, I know - I just had this GREAT weigh in and here I was, adding marshmallows to a smoothie.  I know they don't add any nutritional value to my smoothie, but I thought it'd make it taste different - yummier, even.  And besides, it was only 45 calories.  Blended that together and still, there was anything in the blender.  So I added another quarter cup of milk and another banana and FINALLY, there was some substance in the blender.  I poured it into my green smoothie cup and took a swig.

ICK.  It was warm.  DUH.  I forgot ICE!  Well, being the lazy person that I am, I just stuck the smoothie in the freezer.  I didn't feel like dumping it back in the blender and adding ice - besides, if I did that, my cup would probably overflow.

Once it was colder, it was much better.  And unfortunately, the marshmallows added NOTHING to the smoothie.  I couldn't even tell they were in it.  :/  Oh well.  Lesson learned.  I didn't actually end up drinking all of it anyway.  Kaiden wanted some and rather than make another one, I just drank about half of mine and gave him the rest.  But I'm still counting the full calories, since I don't know exactly how much I gave him.  Yeah...I'm a stickler for the numbers and I'd rather overestimate than underestimate.  :)

Lunch was a little on the heavy side, so I had to watch it through the afternoon and evening to make sure I didn't do too much damage for the entire day.  I think I did alright, though I didn't leave room for any snacks or even a couple Friday night beers.  :/  Sacrifices, right?  LOL

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I chose not to run today.  I had kind of a stressful day with the boys and while running should have been the perfect idea to relieve stress, I just wasn't up for it.  My heart really wasn't in the right place.  :/  I plan on running tomorrow and hitting the gym on Sunday, but Brandon has a soccer game tomorrow and we have my stepkids for the weekend, plus I work on Sunday, so I'm really just going to have to play it by ear.

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As you can see, I made a few changes to the blog.  I added a page for my 12 in 2012 list and separate pages for my goals and yearly stats, along with a page for all of my weigh ins that I have recorded since March 2009.  Eventually I'll add more things as the blog grows, I assume, but I sort of ran out of ideas so far.  LOL

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Food Log:

• breakfast - banana, PB2 and marshmallow smoothie (378)
• lunch - microwave burritos with cheese and sour cream (610)
• dinner - 3 southwest tacos, beer (147) 

Weekly Weigh In (04/13/12)

Last week: 174.8
This week: 169.0
Total: - 5.8

5.8 pound loss!? Yes, please!  And better yet, I'm back to a 100 pound loss!  I'm on cloud nine right now.  I'm feeling so good about my hard work in the gym and running and the good food choices I made this last week.  I knew that calorie counting worked for me, but I just didn't want to do it.  But clearly I HAVE to do it.  I'm just not ready to eat intuitively.

Tunnel Vision

Even though I have no idea what my calorie count was yesterday, I need to add another 580 calories to that unknown number.  Apparently I ate dinner way too early last night because around 10:00pm my stomach started growling and I felt actual hunger pangs.  So I had some fritos and dip.  And then a serving of jelly beans.  :(  Not the healthiest choices, but pretty much the healthiest thing I had in the house.  I really need to go grocery shopping soon.

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I didn't run yesterday.  I thought about it and thought about it.  I kept looking outside, hoping the wind would die down, but instead, it just got darker out.  The treadmill was an option, but that sounded super boring.  So I skipped my run.  And I felt guilty all night long.

After thinking about it so much, I realized that feeling guilty was kind of a good thing.  If I didn't feel guilty and I didn't have regret, then I'd probably skip more runs and more workouts and I'd be back to the sluggish, inactive person I've been off and on the last 6 months.  When my back was hurt, I wanted to run so badly, but couldn't.  Now I CAN run, and I came up with a pathetic excuse.  I don't like that, and I don't want it to happen again.

beautiful, right? lol

However, I did end up running today, but I only managed a mile.  It was misting and cool out, which turned out to be perfect.  But my run was really hard and I just don't get it.  I did 3 miles on Saturday and now I'm struggling again.  I had carbs and protein today, so it's not that I'm not getting enough fuel.  My pace started out faster than usual and I ran into the wind for part of it, so those could be possible factors for my fatigue, I suppose.  By the end of the run, I was getting tunnel vision really badly.  I got back to my car just in time, because I honestly don't think I could have made it much further.  :/

I want to LOVE running.  And sometimes I do.  But the last two runs were hard and I'm just so disgusted that I'm not making much progress.  I was so proud of myself for Saturday's 3 miles, but now I'm struggling to make it a mile.  What's going on?  :(

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Tomorrow is weigh in and I'm pretty confident that even though I've been cheating and weighing daily the scale is going to be good to me.  I've worked hard this week and I know the scale is going to show it.

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Food Log:

• breakfast - activia yogurt with granola (320)
• lunch - turkey and cheese sandwich (370)
• dinner -pizza rolls (334), cottage cheese (170)
• snack - skinny cow clusters (120), half a banana (51)
• energy - 5 hour energy (4)

total calories:  1369

Fitness Log:

• run outside -1 mile/13.21min pace, 13.21 minutes total/106 calories burned
• elliptical - 45 minutes/438 calories burned

total calories burned:  544 calories

Perfect Day for Chili

Another laaaazy day.  The weather was cool and cloudy, so that automatically zapped any energy I might have had.  I'm one of those people that my mood is relative to the weather.  If it's warm and sunny out, I'm way more alive than if it's gray and dreary out.  It was pretty gray today, so I didn't feel like doing anything at all.

I woke up kind of sore today, but I told myself that it was a "feel good" kind of soreness.  My body will learn to adapt to the changes that running is having on me and then I'll push myself harder and start the cycle all over again.  :)

beef, beans, onions and tomatoes - simple yet YUMMY

Because of the dreary weather, I decided it was a chili kind of day.  I threw all the ingredients in the crock pot and let them simmer together in their wonderful goodness all afternoon.  My house smelled amazing and my stomach growled all day long, knowing what it was going to get full of at dinner time.  Unfortunately, this is one of those meals I don't like, though - all the ingredients are mixed together, so I don't know the calorie count on my serving.  So I'm just going to have to wing it and hope I don't over do it.  The scale has been pretty friendly lately - I don't want to mess that up.  :)  LOL

Yeah, I've been weighing daily still.  I tell myself I'm not going to, but as soon as I get up in the morning, I step on the scale.  I really want to challenge myself not to do that, but it seems like no matter what, if I'm doing really good or I'm doing pretty horribly, I just HAVE to know what the scale says.  :/

hard to see, but looks way better in person

Remember how I mentioned my little scrapbooking hobby that I've put on the back burner for awhile?  Well, I had some motivation today and felt a little creative, so I worked on a page for my wedding album.  Preston and I took a vacation and got married in Las Vegas last May and we both wore Pittsburgh Steelers attire.  So our wedding album is black, yellow and white to go along with the theme of our wedding.  I'm trying to be simple, so it's not much.  This layout is photos from Treasure Island hotel and casino.  I absolutely loved this place.  I'm kind of a pirate junkie though.  I think it's dirty and romantic, all at the same time.  LOL

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I had planned on running just a mile today (maybe further if I felt like pushing it, but I really only wanted to do a mile at least) but the wind wouldn't die down and I just don't feel that I have the endurance or strength yet to fight a big wind.  :/  Maybe I should have attempted it - part of me IS regretting not lacing up and going outside.  Maybe after I post this blog I'll talk myself into it.  I don't know.

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Food Log:

• lunch - turkey and cheese sandwich (200)
• dinner - two bowls of chili
• snacks -cottage cheese and peas (250), mini marshmallows (90)

I'm unsure of calories because of the chili.  I had two servings and at least 340 calories worth of toppings on it (sour cream, cheddar cheese and onions).  :/  After entering the ingredients into SparkPeople's Recipe Calculator it showed 241 calories per serving (of just the chili - not toppings) if I was able to get 10 servings out of the entire crock pot.  I think that's a little low, but I still don't think I did too badly today  I guess we'll see tomorrow Friday when I do my weekly weigh in.  ;)

No Energy Whatsoever

Today was kind of a lazy day.  I just wasn't feeling motivated.  Ben woke up around 3:00am so I fed him a 4 ounce bottle and he went back to sleep.  I didn't.  I tossed and turned until about 4:30am before zonking out again.  Then I heard Preston and the boys get up around 6:20am and I got up and helped get the boys off to school.  Okay, actually I sat on the couch and barked orders - Brandon tried to go to school with his shirt wrong side out and Kaiden ended up going to school with his pants on backwards.  *sigh*  Mother of the Year Award, right here.  Anyway, for some reason, I just couldn't get up.  My back was stiff and my body was still kind of sore and I just felt sluggish.

I laid on the couch with the laptop until I had to leave to pick Kaiden up from preschool.  After we got home, I made lunch for him and Ben and then laid on the couch some more.  Around 1:30pm I got up long enough to toss some clothes in the washer and wash a sink full of dishes .  I wanted to do other stuff.  I have two days off in a row and all kinds of things I could be getting done, but I just didn't have any energy!  I hate that feeling.  :(

After dinner, I decided to go for a run.  As unmotivated as I'd felt all day, I was still looking forward to a nice run.  Ugh.  Nice run?  Right.  My second outside run was so hard.  It had cooled down quite a bit by 6:30, but I decided to do it anyway.  About a quarter mile in, I started sweating and the cool air felt great.  The first mile was tough, but it was nothing like the second mile coming back.  I ran into the wind most of the way, so it was hard on me.  But I learned a few things on this run:

• after 31 years, I learned how to spit without wearing it  :)
• no matter how many times you practice, if you spit into the wind - you wear it
• snot rockets are gross, but sometimes you gotta do something with the snot build up
• running on a full stomach makes me sluggish
• google maps is not always accurate when mapping a course
• my determination is greater than ever - I don't like cutting my run short when I've set a goal

I only did a two mile run tonight but it was enough.  I didn't figure I'd go much further than that, so when I started I had my sights set on two miles.  I really considered quitting at a mile and a half, but I willed myself to finish.  My chest hurt and my legs hurt.  And I think my headbands are too tight.  My head has a dull ache and it felt the same way yesterday after my workout.

I was actually surprised to see that my pace was faster than last time (barely, but it was).  I felt so slow, especially running into the wind.  But the last quarter of a mile I ran I stepped up my pace because I was sooooo ready to be done.

This was my second time using the Garmin and I just love it so much!  I really need to figure out all the different modes though.  I'd like to see my splits, but I can't figure it out.  I haven't really tried, though.

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Food Log:

• lunch - turkey and cheese sandwich (215)
• dinner - ramen noodles with peas and corn (550)
• snacks - cottage cheese and peas (230), special k vanilla almonds and silk (238)
• energy/recovery - 5 hour energy (4), gatorade recovery (130)

total calories: 1367

Fitness Log:

• run outside - 2 miles/13:42 min pace, 27.22 minutes total/208 calories burned

Squeezed in a Work Out

My total calories were a little off yesterday.  After I posted my blog, I ended up having some crackers and this garlic herb cheese that is super gross and going in the trash next time I think about it.  Anyway, that was an extra 170 calories on top of the 1447 I had logged before.  So that's a total of  1617 for the day yesterday.  Higher than I'd like, but not too bad.

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I had planned on hitting the gym after work today, but turns out I'm a horrible mother and my baby boy nearly ran out of formula today.  So instead of going to work out, I went to the grocery store and then hauled ass home to make sure my little man didn't starve.  Thankfully, he's eating real food more often than taking a bottle so he had a little formula left over, but I still felt awful.

Kaiden had soccer practice in town today and Brandon wanted to go with, so I took advantage of the opportunity.  I dropped them off at the field and went to the gym for half an hour.  I did intervals and they about kicked my butt, but I burned 371 calories, so it was worth it.

30 minutes - 371 calories burned

I really wanted to run today, but if I'm going to be in town where my gym is at, I should really use the membership I pay for.  And I could have ran after I got home tonight, but I was exhausted after dinner.  I'm going to come up with a schedule where I run on my days off and I hit the gym on the days I work.  I have to justify spending $37 a month for a gym membership.

I don't work tomorrow so I'm planning on running either first thing in the morning (if I can force myself awake before the kids have to leave for school and Preston has to leave for work) or after Preston gets home from work.  I'm guessing my run will happen tomorrow night.  I'm pretty excited about it.  I don't LOVE running yet, but I'm getting there.  :)

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Food Log:

• breakfast - activia strawberry yogurt with granola (320)
• lunch - club crackers (350), spicy mustard-aise (120)
• dinner - chicken pot pie (410), cottage cheese (160)
• energy - 5 hour energy (4)

total calories: 1364

I wasn't very hungry at work today, so I didn't over do it that much.  That stupid spicy mustard-aise sauce sucked me in again, though and I snacked on it off and on for about 4 hours.  It comes in a squeeze container (like a ketchup or mustard bottle you'd get at a bar or diner) so I wasn't able to measure out my portions, but I only put a small squiggle of sauce on each of my crackers.  So I could be a little short on the calories for that.  I tried to estimate, at least.

Also, I really need to start drinking more water.  I MUST work that into my daily regiman somehow.  :/

Fitness Log:

• elliptical - 30 minutes/371 calories burned 

I got a headache shortly after working out.  :(

Loving Me, Visually

It's pretty rare for me to see a picture of myself and not criticize it.  A few photos do exist, but one of my favorites was taken yesterday, unbeknownst to me.  I was walking around with Ben during the town Easter egg hunt (held indoors because the wind was blowing like a million miles an hour), so Preston was taking pictures.  There are very few pictures of me and my kids, because my weight has always been an embarrassment to me and they usually turn out pretty unflattering.  I've been trying to get in front of the camera more often than not lately, however.  Preston managed to catch a very candid photo of Ben and I that, although no big deal, is pretty special to me. 

Easter 2012 - 174.2lbs

I love this picture.  I am not happy that my hair looks greasy and dirty, especially considering it's because it's wind blown and possibly still wet from my shower.  However, that's the ONLY negative thing I can say about this photo.  Other than that, I love it.  I absolutely LOVE how I look in it.  Maybe it's the way I'm standing, I don't know, but I actually don't feel fat looking at it.  I feel almost...fit.  I can tell that my hard work is really paying off.

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I am super sore today, which I kind of expected.  But I've never felt this sore after a work out.  It's kind of a nice feeling, in a sadistic kind of way.  LOL  My friend is pushing Advil on me, but I can't take it with the Prednisone.  Prednisone is an anti-inflammatory, though, so I assume that should help.  My back is feeling great, thankfully.  I'm so excited to be able to work out and run again.

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Food Log:

• breakfast - 3 egg whites (51)
• lunch - grilled cheese sandwich (205), fritos and dip (440), green olives (25)
• dinner - lucky charms with silk (275)
• snack - beer (441)
• energy - sugarfree red bull (10)

total calories: 1447

My calories were all over the place today, but still on the low side (though still not as low I'd like).  I didn't make it to the gym today because I chose to just relax and enjoy just hanging out at home for the day.  Not to mention, I was so sore that the last thing I wanted to do was exert any energy.  But the plan is to hit the gym tomorrow.  :)

Conquered a Fear Today

I've had this fear of running outside.  I'm pretty sure it stems from my earlier attempts at running shortly after Ben was born last August.  We live in town, but my mother in law lives about half a mile from us, at city limits.  When I tried running outside, I'd try running to her house and back (roughly a mile) and I could never get very far.  I'd make it maybe 1/3 of the way before my lungs were burning, my thighs were aching and I was sweating like a pig.  It was pretty embarrassing and I manifested a fear of running outside because I didn't want anyone to see me fail.  The safety of the treadmill in my bedroom is what got me back into running.  My running friends would try to coax me outside, telling me that the treadmill vs the great outdoors is not a pro vs con kind of thing; the great outdoors just plain wins hands down.

Today I was feeling pretty good (the Prednisone is doing wonders for my back) after the Easter egg hunt, so I decided to hit the gym for a couple hours.  Once I got to town (my gym is 20 miles away - I'm telling you, I live in the middle of anything civilized), I decided I was going to hit the high school track and try running outside.  It was a little on the windy side, but I figured I'd just see what happened.  Instantly, nervous butterflies began taking flight in my stomach.  I'd grabbed my friend's Garmin, so really, there was no reason I couldn't make an attempt.  I told myself that if there was anyone at the track, I'd just turn around and go to the gym as planned.  Fate was not on my side.  There wasn't anyone at the track.  After finally getting Slacker radio to work on my phone and the Garmin set, I took off.  The first mile was a little tough, I'll admit, and the whole time I kept telling myself that it didn't seem so different treadmill vs outside.  I was a little surprised that I felt good enough to keep going.  When I'd started, I figured a mile would be my limit since I hadn't run in so long.  The second mile was CAKE.  It was so easy and I began realizing that the outside really WAS better than the treadmill.  Even though I had the Garmin, I wasn't constantly staring at the numbers, wondering when it was going to end.  I'd periodically check it, but it amazed me how quickly the distance added up.  After the second mile, I told myself to just keep going.  My legs were still going, so why stop?  The third mile was REALLY tough, though.  But I kept telling myself that I've never run this far and I might as well run until I can't anymore.  The more distance that I added, the prouder I felt.  My longest distance was just over 2 miles on the treadmill.  Outside was so much better, even though I had a hard time pacing myself.  I finally hit 3.1 miles and I stopped.  I'd done it.

pace cleared before I took the picture

I ran 3.1 miles!  5k race, here I come!

I felt amazing!  I also felt a little light headed and the ground seemed to slope, but I did it!  I ran 3.1 miles, my longest distance EVER and I know that as long as I keep training, my time will improve and I will do great during my first 5k race in July.  :)

At the beginning of March, I'd come up with a progressive running schedule and by April 1st I had planned to run, nonstop, my first 5k distance.  Unfortunately, on March 19th, I had injured my back and wasn't able to continue my running schedule, which really bummed me out.  However, here it is, April 7th and even with only slowly running two other times (and only a mile each time), I did it!

I definitely like running outside and I'm very much in love with my friend's Garmin.  Once we get back from Tennessee this summer, I'm going to look into buying one, even if I have to save $10-$20 every week to save up for it (although Preston did mention getting me one for my birthday in September, since I'm getting him a nice barbeque grill for his birthday).

I think I'll probably be pretty sore tomorrow, but it will be soooo worth it.  :)

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Food Log:

• breakfast - cake doughnut with chocolate frosting
• lunch - turkey and cheese sandwich (240)
• dinner - cheeseburger (445), fritos and dip (410), beer (441)
• snack - m&m's (140)
• energy - 5 hour energy (4)

total calories:  1680 + the cake doughnut

I have no idea how many calories were in the cake doughnut.  I tried to resist, but after about an hour of resisting, I finally just said to hell with it and gave in.  I'm not too worried.  I did have more calories than I'd like in a day, but once I started eating dinner, I was ravenous.  I blame my run, but that's really why I'm not too worried about how many calories I had.  I think my deficit is pretty good.

Fitness Log:

• run outside - 3.1miles/14.01min pace, 43.29 minutes total/376 calories burned
• elliptical - 30 minutes/292 calories burned

total calories burned:  668 calories

Man, I can't get over my work out today!  I feel amazing!  I've missed running and the gym so much.  Today was like the best day in a very long time.  :)